This weekend, she proposed some radical shifts in her college plan. It’s a lot of change all at once and along with it comes myriad emotions. These are the kinds of life choices adults look back on and are either really glad they did them, or they regret they didn’t.

Then she asked me the big question. “Mamma what should I do?”

Deep breath. Look far into the sky. Call in maternal wisdom to aid in my reply. Wait for it…

“I don’t know.”

That’s the truth. I have no idea which situation will be best for her. I have no idea how teachers are going to manage this year.  I am clueless about how our lives will continue to change and evolve through a global pandemic.

What I do know is that for most of us, emotions are running high. They can be volatile, disconcerting, and uncomfortable. Sometimes we feel unable to manage them, which is not very useful when we life is demanding so much of us. Besides, feeling helpless sucks.

The full answer to my daughter’s question is this: fine-tune your strategies for navigating your emotional landscape. Your emotions come in waves. Allow them to move through you. Actually feel them instead of pushing them down. When you do that, your emotions can lead you to your truth.

My strategies for navigating emotions are rooted in these three things: Non-Negotiables, Motion, and Connection.

Prevent: Create Your Life-Affirming Non-Negotiables

We all have health, fitness, and other self-care practices we know help and benefit us. We also actually have to do them for them to work. If you don’t have at least 5 of these healthy rituals built into your day, you are setting yourself up for breakdown.

I learned this the hard way a long time ago. My turnaround came when I started noticing how many things I had on my should list. I really should exercise regularly. I should drink more water. I should call my mom more often. It was a long list.

Step one is to examine your “shoulds.” I bet you’ll find a handful of life-affirming changes you can make to your daily routine. Lock them in and make then 100% non-negotiable.

Put them in your calendar; build them into your routines; stop it with the “shoulds” and make them MUSTS. Your emotional landscape will be much easier to navigate when you have your life-affirming, non-negotiable practices in place.

Change: Shift Emotion With Motion

Einstein was clear that problems can’t be solved at the level of thinking where the problem was created. Why not apply this principle to emotions?

If you’re experiencing an emotion you don’t like, change your state! The fastest way to change your emotion is to get IN motion. Move—it’s that simple.

I realize you can’t always leave the building and go out for a walk. I’m not gonna lie—I’ve been known to do squats in a bathroom stall. Or calf raises up and down while I’m on the phone. There are lots of ways to shake and stretch your body while standing in one place.

I would encourage you to think of your students and being in small spaces, as well. What kind of movement can you model for them to encourage a change of state? Things like targeted breathing exercises or chair dancing come to mind.

When movement is not possible—like being in a meeting or on a video call—make sure to develop your own grounding techniques that work to counterbalance rapidly rising stress levels. I ground myself by taking full, deep belly breaths, making sure to squeeze all the air out on my exhale by pulling my navel toward my spine.

Generally speaking, the more you are flooded by changing emotions, the more you need to move. Sometimes a dance break is all you need to make a shift in your emotional state.

Deepen: Make Real-time Connections

Have you ever noticed that you can spend a whole day on Zoom and Facebook, only to wind up feeling lonely? How does that happen?

Sometimes we spend so much time reading and sharing on social media, we start to think it’s filling our connection bucket, when in fact it actually makes us more anxious or lonely. If you’re on Facebook or Instagram a lot, close it down and pick up the phone. Call a friend or family member just to connect. Get moving for a few minutes and listen to one of your favorite inspirational speakers on YouTube.

I recommend being strategic about your connections Make sure you have your short list of trusted mentors and friends who hold safe, positive space for you. They listen to you without telling you what to do or going into negativity.

Making genuine, honest connections with the right people, your high/true self, and however you choose to view the universal life force are game changers during times like these. Remind yourself you are not alone.

Making mindful choices in each of the above areas is a big part of my emotional navigation strategy. I would love to hear what tools and rituals you build into your life. Let me know!

Bonus: Free 61-Points of Light Meditation

We spent several Tuesday evenings on our TWO support calls this summer immersing ourselves in meditation. The 61-Points of Light meditation was a favorite. I recorded it for you if you would like to follow along. Download it free of charge by clicking here.

XOMichelle

The post Making It Work: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions first appeared on Teaching With Orff.

This is a great question because the answer brings us to what I believe is one of the greatest challenges we face as leaders: we must be the leaders of our own lives first.

Let’s begin with the premise that we are not only leaders of our teams at work, we are also leaders in our families. And at the core of leadership lies our personal responsibility to be leaders in our own lives. If you want to help and guide others, start with how you are guiding yourself.

Following these four steps to leading others may help you navigate through cultures at work and family dynamics at home. Notice, model, listen, share.

1: Notice how you are leading yourself.

Start at the core—start with you.  Notice first how you are leading yourself through the stressful time our world is facing. You say you are navigating it relatively well. What is working for you? Just notice. Do you limit your intake of daily news? Do you take time to breathe, sit, meditate, and plug into your highest self with no distractions? How about exercise? Practicing patience and kindness toward yourself and others? How are you successfully showing up right now as the leader of your own life?

2. Model the behavior you want to encourage.

Mission critical leadership attribute: model the behavior you want to see in others. If you truly take personal responsibility as a leader, take every measure to do what you say and say what you do. If your advice to someone else is to turn off the news, slow down, and take 10 quiet breaths before starting a new task, make sure you are doing that too.

3. Listen and act as witness for others.

Listen to them. Don’t try to fix. Don’t fuel the fire by agreeing or jumping in with your stories of fear or worry. Just listen! It takes strength to hold space for others while they process their emotions. Good leaders learn how to hold space for others. Don’t take on their fears—listen, notice what’s coming up for you, and wait.

4. Share what works for you.

Do not tell people what to do or how they should feel. When they are finished talking or venting, just say, “thank you,” or “I hear you.” Now practice the art of sharing what works for you—keep it short.

Navigating uncertainty is something we as leaders face regularly. Right now, our entire world is facing uncertainty of unparalleled magnitude. Taking extra care and paying attention to our inner emotional landscapes and leading ourselves moment-to-moment with patience and attention is critical. People will respond most powerfully when we model self-care and regulation. Taking care of you IS taking care of your people.

The post 4 Steps to Leading Others Through Anxiety first appeared on Teaching With Orff.

Some of us are enjoying a well deserved spring break, others are trying to hang in there until spring break arrives. As you make plans for the final few months of school, our Chief Motivation Officer, Michelle Brady, encourages you to include a plan for your own self-care and well being.

For more on what you can do today or this week to take care of yourself during this busy time of the semester, see our post Making It Work: Self-Care Strategies for Springtime.

The post Making It Work: Making Time for Self-Care first appeared on Teaching With Orff.