Providing a Safe Space in the Music Room

Managing behavior in the elementary music classroom can be challenging. We can see 200+ students a day and feel like we have very little time for instruction. Sometimes it can be frustrating to deal with behavior issues in our classroom when all we want to do is teach music! But I’m reminded of this saying:

I am a teacher of children first and foremost. Music happens to be the vessel through which I reach my students.

Over twenty years of teaching, I have learned a few things that work in a music setting.

1.  Establish your expectations and live by them.

The first month of the new school year, I spend time going over expectations and establishing routines more than anything.  If an expectation is that we keep rhythm sticks to ourselves, then there needs to be a natural consequence when we don’t.  No idle threats and no multiple chances.  The first time the rule is broken, the sticks are taken away from that child.  It only takes one student to do it once and for everyone else to see the consequence.  Your students will know that you mean business.  Your words are only as good as the actions that back them up.

2. Teach behaviors explicitly.

We know what something is by knowing what it isn’t.  That’s a funny phrase, but very true.  I teach my lower elementary students that every time we come to music, we sit on our bottoms with legs crossed and hands in our laps.  We practice it.  A lot.  But we also practice what it doesn’t look like.  We practice laying on the floor, or hands propping the body up behind our backs, or legs outstretched.  Then I discuss why each one isn’t safe (others will trip over you, or step on you, etc.)  We know how to sit safely when we know what sitting unsafely looks like.  I do the same with posture, mallet technique and any other skill I want mastered in the music room. Truthfully, the kids think it’s funny to practice doing something “wrong” then “right.”

3.  Provide a safe space in your room for children who need a “state” change.

There is lots of research about providing safe spaces for children who need time away from the class or activity due to behavior issues.  I’ve heard of people creating little “island get-a-ways” and a variety of other places.  This may work for classroom teachers, but I only see my kids 40 minutes every 3 days.  I can’t have a child in “Australia” reading books instead of participating in instruction.  I do, however, create a safe space in my room.  I have a lovely mural painted in my room with a tree and birds around it.  Under the tree, I have small chair where my students can go when they are not ready to learn.  It is not a time-out chair.  It’s simply a place to go when a child is struggling to learn.  Sometimes children go on their own and other times I ask a child to go there.  I have a small basket of items for students who need some type of physical release (e.g. squishy balls, koosh balls) and some items to help students calm down (e.g. small stuffed animals, sand timers).  Most times, the student returns to the class on their own and most do so within 3-5 minutes.  If I have a child that was asked to go because of disruptive behavior, then I have them use a reflection sheet.  My reflection sheets look different for lower el (K-2) than upper el (3-5).   Another strategy I have found useful for minor behavior issues is to ask the challenging student to observe another student exhibiting the desired behavior.  It takes the focus off of the negative behavior and redirects their attention to the positive, desired behavior.

Here is what is in my calm-down caddy: Beanie Babies, Koosh balls, squeezes, and 3-minute sand timers (my 4-year old tested the “breakability”of the timer.  It passed his inspection).

4.  Communicate with parents

5.  Behavior challenges aren’t personal

Let me repeat this again: behavior challenges aren’t personal.  This is the hardest thing I am learning as a parent.  This morning I took my four-year old to Target to buy a birthday present for his cousin.  When he realized he wasn’t get a toy for himself – the mother of all meltdowns occurred.  And of course, we were in the back of the store, so I had to carry him kicking and screaming through the entire store to get him to a safe place.  Fun times in motherhood, eh?  But here’s the point – my son’s meltdown wasn’t about me.  His anger was about his lack of control over a situation.  His frustration was that he wasn’t getting his way.  It was directed at me, but it wasn’t about me.  See the difference?  The same is true of your students. So when a child gets angry, misbehaves, has an outburst – STAY CALM.  Offer two choices (Love and Logic all the way!) You can do this, or you can do that.  When my son lost it, I said, “you can give me ideas for Christmas or you can do chores to earn that toy.”  Neither choice was giving him the toy at the moment.  Be consistent – repeat the choices and continue to stay calm.  It’s not personal.  In the end, my son calmed down and apologized for his behavior.  I hugged him, reassured him I loved him and moved on.  Do the same for your students.

6.  And lastly – connect with your students

I truly think 99% of behavior issues can be averted when we foster relationships with our students.  It’s rare for any of my students in grades 2-5 to have behavior issues in my room.  Why?  I’ve worked hard the first two years getting to know them and building relationships with them.  Don’t you want to do good for people who care for you deeply?  And when they do make a mistake, they know I care enough about them to help them learn from that mistake.  In fact, when I do send a note home, I always talk to the student to share with them that the note isn’t about “getting them in trouble” – rather, an opportunity to partner with their parents to help them learn and grow.  When my little ones misbehave, I always connect with them after the redirection.  Our students need to know that our redirections and consequences come from a place of love and concern – not out of power, anger, or frustration.   For some of your students, you may be the only adult that models this type of interaction for them.

 For more ideas on classroom management, follow my Classroom Management for the Music Classroom Board on Pinterest!

What else would you add to this list?  How do you deal with challenging behaviors in the music classroom?

Many schools have a PBIS program in place and use common language across classrooms for behavior and expectations.  Embrace it!  I’ve taught for 21 years in a variety of settings.  The most success I’ve had in my career is when all of our staff worked together to identify, implement, and use consistent language with our students.  My kids know that the same language, expectations and consequences will occur in my room as in the classroom.  Suddenly, classroom issues went by the way.

This sound so silly.  Our usual response to a chatty class is to yell over them.  Stop.  Get quiet.  Lower the lights.  When they finally quiet, talk even quieter than them.  You are the leader of your classroom and have control over the volume of conversation.  Bring it down a notch.  I’m always amazed at how calm my students become once I bring my own voice level down as well.

Ok, so this has nothing to do with the kids who talk or misbehave.  This is about the kids who are always doing the right thing.  Don’t using them as the example.  For some kids, this can be embarrassing.   For others, this can make them a target.  Instead, try #6.

I have two favorite phrases to use in my class.  The first is simple: “check yourself.”  I may say it for one child in particular, but the reality is that every child in my room has something they can check on before the learning starts.  I may have a child who needs to stop talking, another who needs to adjust how they are seated, and another who may “appear perfect” but who’s mind is wandering.  We all have something we can check.  My second favorite phrase is “make a match.”  Again, simple and to the point and without pointing a child out.  Make a match simply means find someone with whom you can match your behavior.  Make a match to someone sitting correctly.  Make a match to someone keeping the steady beat.  Make a match to someone using their singing voice.  I never say who we should be matching because the reality is that the children already know.  And what one child needs to match may not be what another needs.

This is the hardest one of all.  When I have a child that consistently is problematic in my classroom, it mostly likely isn’t the child – it’s me. Take a breath, I know.  It’s a difficult thing to admit.  Let’s be honest – a child who is acting out in our classroom is seeking something, right?  When they can’t get positive attention, then negative attention is the next best thing.  Negative attention comes when my relationship with that child is not healthy.  My students need to know I care about them deeply and sometimes music is the last thing on their mind.  Some of my kids come to school to be safe, to get a meal, to get a hug.  They come to school for connection.  When my students are disconnected from me, the behavior problems escalate.  And I know what you’re going to say – how can I possibly connect with 500, 600, 800 students?  My best advice is to greet your kids.  My teachers know that my kids may not come into my classroom until invited.  The reason I do it is because I want to greet every child as they come in.  I say hello to every child as they enter, I compliment a new haircut, a smile, a child doing the right thing.  I notice new tennis shoes, a beautiful dress, a superhero sweatshirt.  The smallest compliment can make all the difference.

And one last word – I know we all have different situations and populations.  I’ve taught in public schools with extreme poverty and elite private schools.  My low-income kids in Philadelphia didn’t behave any different than my suburban kids in Houston.  Here’s what I’ve learned in my 20+ years – we all want to be validated.  We all want someone to notice us and care.  Every time I’ve showed a child I cared, the behavior got better.